Hello lovelies! Today’s post may turn into a rambling mess as I’m trying to figure out what the h*ck is going on with my WIP (and my brain). Proceed at your own peril;-)
What My Brain Likes
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you probably know I’m a Dutchie. Dutch is my “official” native language, but I grew up in the south of the Netherlands where most people (including me) speak an unofficial dialect that mixes Dutch with German and French and all kinds of joyful and bizarre words (sooo, okay, maybe Dutch is NOT my native-native language).
How It Started (I Think)
As a child, I read A LOT of Dutch children’s literature. Our local library had many, many wonderful books of historical fiction and fantasy, all written by amazing Dutch authors.
In ninth grade, however, my family in the US gifted me the American versions of the Harry Potter books. I devoured them, then moved on to THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA, THE LORD OF THE RINGS, and all things Terry Pratchett. Ever since, I’ve preferred books originally written in English. It’s not a snob thing; it’s just what my brain likes.
After high school, I studied English language and literature at university. I read wildly and widely—from old English poetry to 19th century American gothic fiction to 20th century modernism. I wrote essays and exam papers and (three!) theses—all in English. I studied in the US, interned at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and landed a job in a super international environment where English was (and is) the working language.
How It’s Going
Sooo, even though Dutch is (or isn’t) my native language, it should come as no surprise that I feel more confident expressing myself in English. Even when I’m not reading or writing or speaking, my brain is “doing the thinking stuff” in English because it’s just easier to understand my thoughts and emotions that way.
English also seems to fit the storytelling part of my brain better. My dramatic range somehow seems wider, my dialogue and descriptions flow more naturally, and my characters feel more real. To me, the magic comes “alive” in English—colors and sounds and smells are stronger and more vibrant.
I’m not sure why my brain works like this. Perhaps I’ve been immersed in the English-speaking community for “too long” or maybe it’s just how I’m wired…? Is that weird?
The Plot Twist
I’m currently working on a project that is more historical fiction than fantasy. It’s set in an 18th century town in the south of the Netherlands and draws a lot of inspiration from local history and folklore.
The more I’m getting to know this story, the more I’m realizing that its “magic” (not the literal kind) is NOT necessarily in the characters or the worldbuilding or the plot. Rather, the magic of this story is in the words.
The original Dutch words for the town, its people, and the events that are happening are integral to “the vibe” of this book. These Dutch words are the heart of the story. They embody a people’s history and identity and cultural heritage. They are a homesickness to a past filled with adventure and legendary heroic outlaws, and I want readers to truly feel that.
Sounds great, right? Right!
Except these Dutch words do not translate well. They hold so much meaning, I can’t find the English equivalents—or at least no equivalents that do this story justice. The English words just feel awkward and flat, and they make this story feel less special. No translation, no matter how literal or creative or well-done, can capture the essence of this story as well as the original Dutch words can.
I. Am. Scared.
I don’t know what to do! On the one hand, I’m good at expressing myself in English. More importantly, I LIKE writing in English. Also: it would be a wonderful thing if this story were not just accessible to Dutch-speaking readers.
On the other hand, I want to do this story justice and stay true to its heart. I’m afraid that if I continue this story in English, I will destroy what this book should be.
Sooo, the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that this story should be told in Dutch…